Well, the second love of my life..
we are separated by seas and lands.. thousands miles away.
he’s a guy from Ohio, United States.
First time I knew him was on Facebook, through a dating application called SPARKEY.
We chatted a lot through Facebook and then Yahoo Messenger. At first we became close friend because I feel really comfortable talking with him. He’s such a nice and funny guy and we got along each other perfectly. We couldn’t wait to talk to each other everyday. Even we had a special time.. about 3 or 4 p.m here in Jakarta and we always ended our time about 6 or 7 p.m.
Talking to each other at that time was like our habit and like a drug for me, addictive. I could share my thoughts, my feelings, and my stories with him without being afraid of being underestimated.
Until one day, I dropped him an offline message while he was working. I wished a good day for him at work and I said “I LOVE YOU”. Well I didn’t expect any good respond to come, I just wanted to let it out what I feel. But then, he replied. He felt the same way that he loved me to. We didn’t really have faith in it, so we decided to just let it flow.
I didn’t feel afraid to share this story to my friends.. some compliments and negative responds I must got. I got some massiveI also got supports came from family and some friends, but I also got skepticism about long distant relationship that never really work out especially you never meet him.
But I ignored them who told such negative things about my relationship. I asked them to understand how good this guy to me.
He’s more than good, he turns out to be my very very best friend and boyfriend. I was really happy with him, he really knew how to treat me with little surprises or gifts. I felt like the most lucky and happy girl in the world to have him.
month by month we’d been through.. until I finally got a job. Being one of the Local Organizing Committee of Manchester United Asia Tour 2009 – Indonesia. I was really busy and hard to find time to talk to him as often as we wanted. He said he had tried to understand. I also always tried to find some times to talk to him..
we always had good communication.
until I got a lot of disasters coming .
Ritz Carlton-JW Marriott Hotels bombing and family matters
I felt so sad and down that time. But I was surrounded by supportive people who always there to take me out for movies , hang outs, etc etc. I felt happy just being with friends. I started to ignore him. I didn’t want to find times to talk to him, because that time it was more like an obligation for me and I didn’t want to do it because it’s no longer important. All he could do is whining and complaining about everything, about how he really afraid of losing me. I CAN’T STAND PEOPLE LIKE THAT.
I started to find something more challenging. I cheated and hang out with other guys… and I told him I did it. I was sorry and asked him for apologies. and he always forgave me.
but then again, I felt nothing to him. I didn’t want to pretend that I still care for him or love him. I was tired with all his complaints and stories and whines.. I don’t have any spaces left to think about his things while I have a lot of things going on my mind. And it was his right to ask everything that I did, but I found it really nosy. I didn’t feel comfortable anymore.
And finally I asked him to break up when he promised me that he would change into a better person, a fun person. But I didn’t feel like I wanna do it anymore. I was really tired.. so I told him to change for his own sake not mine. Because I couldn’t take it anymore.
Boring, yes.
And after we broke up, I feel happier and more relieved. I’m focusing myself to my things only. Selfish and such an ignorance? ye that’s what I am.
I just want to stand on my own feet and earn my right to be a happy person and eliminate all the person who block your way to reach your happiness. No matter how good he / she is..
A friend told me : ” A good man doesn’t always GOOD for you.. maybe even a bastard can be good for you”
I want a MAN not a GUY not a BOY
means I need someone to really look up on me and teach me things and be my guidance..
