after acting like a whore, and considering myself as a NUMB person, i felt like hit by something enormous and painful.
I treated him like a trash, abandoned and ignored him like he didn’t exist while he was waiting for me and hoping me talking to him.
I did some mistakes . You can all say it by “cheating” .
I felt like I want to leave him and start a new happier and free life >> which actually a NUMB and WILD life.
We broke up. and then all seems to be more dark and I have noone to count on too.
I felt so painful and really wanna cry out loud but then I asked myself : “this is what you wished for, then why are you crying?”
So emotional, I blocked his friends from facebook because they made me terrified with saying bad things about me (which is kinda true), and its so painful and caused my heart torn apart. Because the way they mocked me adn the way they protect him, I figured that I hurt someone who has been always loved me, sacrificed for me, do everything he can to make me happy and to show his love.
It’s more painful when he told me he doesn’t want us to really lose our contact. He wants us to still keep in touch. I want to fix everything with him, I would beg him if I need to just to make him stay and not go away from me.. but he forgave me. where on earth i can find this guy.
I cried when I talked to him these past 3 days.. the more he treats me nice, the more I cry blaming myself for what I did to him.
I love him..
